You’re outta my life, Veronica Mars.

Today is my first Veronica-less day, after the seriously disappointing season and series finale B and I watched last night.  I’ve not much to say but I’m sad it’s over — like reaching the end of a good book and wanting to know more — but I’m glad to have my life (and regular bedtime) back.

The dude is crying — something about the nap being over, I suppose. :)  B and I are going on a *DATE* tonight!!  They are indeed enjoyable, but they used to be a heck of a lot more fun when they didn’t need to be planned so far in advance and we didn’t need extra cash to pay a babysitter. 

Feeling lately: overwhelmed and tired

Been rather pooped recently.  There’s so much to do in life, always ten or twelve more projects that you want to work on, ducks to get in a row before you can feel like you’ve accomplished something and actually enjoy your times of rest.  Oh, the life of a Meyers-Briggs “J”.  Bryan knows nothing of it, and sometimes I’m quite jealous.

Still pluggin’ away at Veronica Mars (now into season 3).  Still taking Japanese lessons four times a week and trying to figure out what I need to incorporate into my life in order to learn it well.  Still on love/hate terms with living in Japan.  Still miss home, thought slightly less frustrated by it when I’m making friends with Japanese people.

I realized today that I had set up some unattainable and unrealistic standards for my language study here, and I had done so because I’d forgotten the real motivation for my desire to learn Japanese.  In my mind, if I didn’t speak “this” well or understand “this” much by “this” time, then I was a failure and all the people of Japan would hate me.  (Drama queen? I think you could say so.)  God is good to gently bring me back to the truth (and I’m wondering, “How did I go that far off the path without ever noticing?”), reminding me that I’m not here to impress with my language ability, but to love and befriend and be used by Him.  And also that there isn’t some secret agenda or standard that if not met by year two means I’ll be sent home.  Seriously, where do I come up with this stuff?  My staff team won’t disown me if I don’t converse at “Level 2″ by January, and the tools and strategies I’ve been given were done so to help me, not to discourage me or make me feel overwhelmed.

Moments like this, I realize I need to emotionally chill out.  So far, I haven’t been very good at chilling.

Spare time

Want to know how I’ve been spending my oh-so-precious free time lately?  I’d like to say I’ve been baking up a storm, or keeping my house meticulously clean, or visiting people’s houses, or actually putting away the clean laundry rather than letting it sit in a pile next to the dirty laundry.  Obviously, you know I haven’t spent it blogging.  Want to know whats been keeping me away from all these things — even from my precious blog?

Veronica Mars.  She’s sucked me in.  I just started season 2 — both B and I have stayed up ridiculously late to continue following the plot.  I’m embarrassed to even say my bedtime the last two nights, so I won’t.

On another note, anyone have any fun, creative ideas on what to do with a toddler that will keep mom entertained as well?  I’m collecting as many ideas as possible.

Do I really live here?

Today, after an afternoon away from the house, we were one block away from home when I suddenly felt and voiced the urge to stand up high somewhere and look down on all the things below me — when we didn’t make the turn to our house, I asked Bryan where we were going, and he replied, “To a high place.”

We spent the next 20 minutes driving around an area of Shizuoka that’s near our home and close to the mountains, surrounded by tea fields.  The sun was setting, the air was cool, and the scents of nature were prime — I kept looking around, thinking, “Do I really live five minutes from the ocean AND all this?”  Its breathtaking, ya’ll.  Japan is really a beautiful country, which many don’t assume because so many people are squeezed onto such a small island (more accurately, islands) — it must be shore-to-shore city, right?  Not so.   Japanese (and Asians in general, I think) have a high value for nature, and there are many quiet little and not-so-little nature nooks hidden everywhere.

It’s quite the contrast from flat and beautiful-in-its-own-way Nebraska.  I love it, I really do.

See ya, Mom.

Today, I put Jones in his crib for naptime and he laid down, looked up at me with happy eyes, and said, “Bah-bah” as he waved to me.  :)  As in, “Get outta here, Mom — me and my crib are gonna have some quality time.  See ya when I’m done!”  It’s so fun to be able to communicate with each other and to see his little personality and individuality start to come out.

こそだては　ときどき　たいへんですね、でも　すごい　たのしかった　です。
Kosodate wa tokidoki taihen desune, demo sugoi tanoshikata desu.

Parenting is sometimes difficult, but it’s also very entertaining!

A short blogging hiatus

I’ve been gone for a bit.. There’s been much to write about, but little time, energy, or motivation to do so.  Life!  I keep starting blogs in my mind, but never get to the computer to write them.  But I’ve also been reminding myself that its good to live where I am, in the midst of what I’m doing, and not get caught up in another world (blogging) when so much is going on in my house and right outside my front door.  My neighbor girls want to take a walk.  A mom in the neighborhood invited me and Jones over to play (YAY! HUGE answer to prayer).  Jones wants to read the Japanese “Papa” book — AGAIN.  The sun is shining and begging for us to come enjoy.  There is coffee to be consumed, friends to chat with (what little I can), and places to go.  Life here is good when I live where I am.  And some of this is part of toddler life, I suppose — the need to always be moving, moving, moving.

Another part of toddler life — educational TV.  Or, in our case, DVDs.  We only have a few and received a new one in the mail today as part of a small mother’s day gift (thanks, Great Grandma Betty!) — the Wiggles.  Jones is enthralled, but I’m creeped out.   And wondering if I’m going to feel this way about all kid’s DVDs.

I have so much more to write about the condition of my heart and ways in which I’m growing, but few words to describe it — I just want my blog-readers to know, whoever you are, that God is good to me!  I am beginning a journey of discovering and understanding His deep love for me, and thus far, it’s been fantastic.  I’ve never prayed more or felt more or desired more or hoped more.  Though I am so far from home and I still long for the people, the places, the pictures of life there, I’ve never experienced more joy than I do now.  It’s a very strange mix of emotions, sometimes bitter, but also refreshingly sweet.  To be in God’s will for the time and to be content with where that is, despite its difficulties, costs, and sorrows — there’s nothing like it!  I’m thankful for His grace to me in this way, to accept and embrace this season of life.  I wouldn’t trade it for anything.

That, in short, would be the tidbits from my blogging hiatus.  I hope to post some “mom’s day” pics soon. (Same holiday, same day here in Japan!)

Aesthetics are everything

Yesterday, Mandy and I took Jones to a neighborhood cafe` called “Snuggery,” which Bryan reminded me is probably supposed to be something akin to the English word “snuggly.”  Anyway, the cafe` is cool — orange leather couches and these blue-tiled coffee tables for sitting arrangements, coffee-made-by-the-cup with french or medium-roasted grounds, and a variety of cakes.  Not to mention the lunch menu and vast repertoire of alcoholic drinks.  A very cool place indeed.

We waited almost 15 minutes in the almost-entirely-empty-yet-full-staffed cafe` for our simple afternoon snacks, and when my plate arrived, I understood why — the only thing this angle doesn’t afford in the picture is the whipped-cream dollop topped with a mint sprig and some more berry sauce.  Wow.  My ’snack’ was lovely.. and tasty.  And expensive, which is the sad part of it all.  Mandy and I lamented the Japanese prices, feeling like it was something akin to living in the Upper East Side of New York without the matching salary.  The plusses, however, are the amazing service and high value for aesthetics.

I’ve got to exit my reminiscing now and answer the call of my not-napping toddler.  I love it when we get back from busy, tiring trips, because it means Jones will sleep like a rock for a few days.  He is out of those ‘few days’ now, and is back to his rigorous teething regimen, for he keeps waking early from naps crying.  He’s vowed to get a full mouth of pearly whites before the tender age of 18 months, and he’s well on his way with 13 of 20 teeth.  Perhaps I need to wear him out more in the mornings.. or perhaps he needs to go down early.  I hate all this wondering and trial-and-error.  I think it probably hurts us more in the long run.

He’s pretty adamant about my coming, now.  I must go.

Where I’ve been

Just as an update, I spent last week surviving the aftermath of a stomach bug and slight sinus infection (icky — but no one else got them! Thank you, Jesus!), and we spent this weekend driving to Tokyo, dropping off some stuff, seeing friends and meeting new ones, riding trains, searching for a “Big size” shoe store, and taking a trip to COSTCO (which was a little shocking, needless to say, after all the “small” things about Japan).  We arrived home late last night and are recovering from the hype.  It was super refreshing to be away from home for a day or two, which is strange given that driving, speaking a foreign language, meeting tons of new people, and riding trains tends to be draining.   I’ve been thinking much about my beloved blog, despite my absence, and hope to post more thoughts soon.

Kitchen vocab

Sometimes, in the midst of my homework, its very difficult to imagine being able to someday carry on a conversation in Japanese when all of my concentrated effort is required to remember the words for “kettle,” “ladle,” and “toothpick.” I simply can’t imagine using just these three words without completely stumbling over them.

Just look at them, would you? Do those look like words to you? And imagine with me, if you will, that this is not the only way to write them.. only kindergarteners write this way.

I think I can safely say that I’ll be remaining in kindergarten for life.

Lap baby

I think he’s getting his incisors, so that definitely adds to the whining, but lately, Jones has been right behind my every move, whining and waiting to be picked up.  I can’t even sit at the table and journal, read, study, or type without the incessant “pick me up!” cry.  I love him!  It warms my heart when I think of him wanting to be a part of the things I do during the day, wanting to see the world from my perspective.  (When I cook, however, he’s quite content to stand on a stool at the sink and play with a spatula and tupperware.. for 10 minutes, at least.)  I’m feeling wearied, though, and I’m wondering if this is behavior that needs nurturing in a different direction or just another passing phase.

Thoughts, moms?