A not-so-happy post

We’re barely getting by over here.  My 15-month-old is getting his final four teeth — the ones he’s not supposed to get until he’s 2.5 or 3 years old.  He’s always been an awful teether, starting at three months, his entire persona changing while he’s in the throes of it — he doesn’t want to eat or drink, he starts spitting up again because his tummy is so full of saliva, he gets a diaper rash, starts night-waking again and taking shorter naps, and can’t enjoy anything about the world.  This time, he’s added head-banging and tongue-pulling to the regimen, I’m supposing because his mouth hurts so much it helps to make other things hurt.  It’s quite disturbing.  And frustrating.  And tiring.  His demanding makes me so angry, but then I look at his chubby cheeks and his tired eyes, and my heart hurts for him — such conflicting emotions make me even more tired.  I’m mad at what I see in myself when he’s hard to love.

Since I’m on a roll, I’m just gonna keep going — God has heard it all already.. So on top of his teething pain, the mosquitos here are eating Jones alive in his room at night, and he has at least 8 huge, welt-like bites all over his body right now.  AND it’s HOT outside, I’m sweating, and I HATE sweating.  Its like living in the tropics here!  Its so humid outside that the whole area is covered in mist — but it’s not fog, it’s too hot to be fog.  We went hiking yesterday, and as we looked out over the landscape and the ocean, we couldn’t even see the skyline because the mist from the humidity was so thick.  AND there’s bugs and cockroaches and spiders here, they’re all so HUGE and they always seem to find their way inside.  And mold grows like no tomorrow in our shower because of all the humidity, I feel like I need to clean it twice a week — I’m not a cleaner, I’m an organizer.  I’m learning the necessity of it here.

And I miss home — all of it makes me miss home.  God is using VeggieTales to give me some sanity.. seeing Jones sit in his little overstuffed chair, looking up at the TV and nodding his head along with the songs, my heart could just burst.  VeggieTales, nursing (yes, we’re still at it!), apple juice for Jones — chocolate chip cookies, coffee, and blogging for mommy.  And singing..  Bryan and I sang some hymns together this morning, and I wish I could remember the lines that helped my heart — they reminded me that I’m right where God wants me, and though I want to be home, if He doesn’t want me there, I can rest assured that He will take care of me here.

*Sigh* I’m feeling slightly better.  I’m going to eat a cookie, Jones is watching the “Belly Button” song by VeggieTales, and Bryan will be home from church shortly. (We had to leave early because Jones wasn’t doing so well..)

Here’s to a better afternoon..  I’m glad it’s still morning and there’s time to redeem the day.

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7 thoughts on “A not-so-happy post

  1. hey friend-on-the-internet, just a quick word to tell you that i’m sorry things are so hard. bugs, heat, teething, the three worst things god made, pretty much. teething should have been one of the plagues of egypt, don’t you think? pharaoh would have caved immediately. anyway, i hear your lament and send you my prayers and utmost sympathy. i wish i could come over with ben and bring ice cream sandwiches and we could swat the bugs and sweat together. 🙂 i think eating a cookie is always a good plan.
    praying for you,
    darby

  2. I pull out your white trivet every so often and am reminded again and again to pray. I appreciate your honesty here–it takes the place of the trivet.

    Love to you.

  3. oh jame i have those days a lot too- i have those days a lot.. and i just need a iced sweetened coffee with cream! when andy was in pakistan i had those almost everyday- i just needed that little sanity!
    i do continue to remember that these days too shall pass- and i know it’s going to go fast- even though it sure doesn’t seem like it some days!
    love you sister
    jk

  4. Oh my dear friend. My heart hurts for you. And lately I can DEFINITELY relate to seeing all the pains and aches and hurts and ickies of life vs. the things to be thankful for. I have had a very crabby, crappy attitude about this move for the past couple of days. But the Lord is faithful and good to us! I pray that He will encourage both our hearts in His glorious gospel! And that you will pass your driving test next time! And that I’ll get a job! And that we can connect over the phone soon!!

    Love you so much. And miss you.

  5. i feel ya jame. mom has been gone since friday and before that she was gone to tulsa for a couple weeks. let’s just say i’m glad that i’m not a mom yet. laundry did pile up over the weekend, but that’s taken care of now…you can only imagine the things that happen over here at the downing pad. i’m praying for you and the fam. love and miss you muchly (i informed dad the other night that i’m coming to see you next summer…he didn’t say much).

    kels
    oh and veggietales can be a lifesaver!

  6. ya’ll are so wonderful, thanks for the encouragement and knowing that i’m not alone!

    KELSEY! i do believe this is your first comment to high countries. we miss you guys! i just made your mom’s curried chicken bake last night, and we thought of your family and wondered how you were. i bet being mother hen while mom was gone was rough.. and, of course, you know, you’re welcome to come anytime!!! 🙂 (did your dad not say much because he was lying horizontally on the couch? maybe he was asleep..) 😉

  7. it’s been ok, mom’s coming home tonight. yay! haha actually yeah, he was in his usual evening horizontal position, you know him too well. 😀 i’ve told mom too and all she said was, “you’re paying for it and i’m coming too!”. btw, jones is our desktop background. gracie kept saying how cute he was last night. 🙂

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