ERA :: MIA

I hate to sound like a broken record, but I’m struggling to find things enjoyable about summer.  (That was a PC way of saying ‘I hate it.’)  The past few days have been pretty awful on the homefront, the heat making it much worse.  I think I’ll be a better mom in the fall.

Jones has had a pretty tough time recently.. Teeth?  Illness? The heat? Independence? SPIRITED??? I don’t really know, and at this point I’ve decided not to care.  His screaming fits and hitting and not eating and not sleeping and whining and just plain hating life have driven us to the edge, but I’m happy to report that Bryan and I have taken a big step this time in not taking our frustrations out on each other — with this batch of toddler madness, we remained a team, which was a victory even though we were struggling with absolute anger toward our son.  At one point when I’d had it with Jones and had it with myself and my angry reactions, I crumpled on the floor and started crying — when Jones saw this, he stopped his screaming fit, gave me sad eyes and a pouty mouth, and started crying himself.. a sad cry.. and he came over and hugged me, laying his head on my shoulder for a good 10 minutes.  It was amazing, just what I needed, and I kept thinking, “How could this 16-month-old understand my sadness and want to comfort me?”  A verse in Romans kept coming to my mind:  “Weep with those who weep, rejoice with those who rejoice.”  (chapter 12 maybe??)  Jones did this for me, and I’ve been thinking a lot since then how I want to mother him in this way — to cry with him as he cries, to get excited over the small things that elate him, to see life from his perspective.  I might not always agree with his emotional reactions (throwing yourself on the floor because you wanted orange juice instead of apple? NOT rational..), but if I can see his ‘whys,’ then I can help him deal with things better.  He won’t always get what he wants, but hopefully he’ll know that I’m on his side and not pitted against him.

So in the midst of all this, Eat-Right August became missing-in-action.  (I’m an emotional eater, okay?? And it was an E-MO-TION-AL weekend..)  In the spirit of keepin’ it real, I’ll post my menus anyway.

Sunday
:: Random breakfast that I can’t remember — toast maybe?
:: lunch of “American dogs” (corn dogs) from a convenience store…. and…. a donut. (yikes! I didn’t want to type that last one!)
:: Coffee frappiccino from Starbucks — Bryan and I needed some reprieve, coffee always helps brighten the day.
:: Blueberry waffles, scrambled eggs, homemade maple syrup (really easy!! its expensive here so we make our own), apples, and OJ for dinner.

Monday
::  Leftover waffles for breakfast, banana
::  Grilled cheese and half of a left-over hamburger
::  Homemade Toddy frappe.. Oishikatayo! (“It was tasty!”)
::  BBQ chicken and veggies with baked potatoes

Wow.  I hope today is better..

ps — After some good sleep, Jones is happier.  HOORAY!  And this afternoon, we are going to a river to BBQ with students to say goodbye to the American summer workers — they leave on Thursday! 😦  They’ve been an incredible blessing to us, really enjoying and loving on Jones.  We’ll miss them, and Jones will miss his new playmates.

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3 thoughts on “ERA :: MIA

  1. I can relate. The anger, the crying, the whole bit. Jones is ahead of Liv’s curve on attitude (but then again, he was *running* way ahead of her curve, too!) but I totally understand what you’re going through. God is full of grace–I see His grace every day, pouring richly into my life.

  2. Hey Jamie, I understand how you feel when a toddler is just beyond control. I break down too. Just imagine it with a one year old in the midst. we are in Sedona right now on a two day break from the kids. It has been wonderful. When we get to Shizuoka, we’d love to give you a little break away. Not much longer…time is counting down quicker than I could imagine.

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