my body.

As Japan enters the sweltering summer months at the same time I enter my third trimester, I’ve been doing a lot of thinking about my body and the days to come.  The swelling, the sweating, the weight gain, the waddling.  And then the birth.  The breastfeeding.  The sleepless nights.  The crying.  After getting used to more independence from Jones, it’s difficult to imagine going back to the life of a newborn care.  I find myself wondering, “Can I really do it again?  Will I handle it better this time?  Am I better equipped than before?”  Please Lord, let the answers be “yes.”

This morning, pondering these things, I was reminded of  this verse.

Therefore, I urge you, brothers, by the mercies of God, to present your bodies a living and holy sacrifice, acceptable to God, which is your spiritual service of worship. Romans 12:1

And I was encouraged.  I am offering my body to Jesus in hosting this little life and caring for him when he arrives.  And its worshipful.  I want to say it out loud so my heart knows the joy and freedom that come with such surrender:  Here is my body, Lord. Make it what you will.  Use it for your purposes.  Make it swell with new life. Give it stretch marks.  Make it tired with the work of motherhood, sleepless nights and all.  Change its shape so I always remember what You’ve chosen me to do.  Help me to give myself to these things and see them as worship, mysteriously entwined with the ordinary and the usual.

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3 thoughts on “my body.

  1. oh dude feel ya on this post! we are in the same season! it did take my body a few weeks to get to a normal “no sleep” pattern.. but your body does respond to no sleep (and coffee) 🙂 God has been ever gracious in giving us a super duper chill sweet girl.. and so it does make getting up in the middle of the night easier. she is precious- YOU can’t do it- but yes God’s grace is enough and HE will get you through!
    love your prayer at the end.. that is brave and i’m not sure that i can totally say all those words with thankfulness.. like “give it stretch marks..” but i love the “change it’s shape so i always remember what YOU’VE chosen me to do” that is awesome- i want to remember that prayer when i look at my overly stretched belly! 🙂

  2. Jamie,
    See Psalm 127. Years ago God impressed on my heart through this scripture that when we make children, we are in truth creating a dwelling place for the living God. It always seemed a little strange how verses 1 and 2 were put in the same context as 3-5. They didn’t know it in the Old Testament, but we know that the temple of God, where he dwells, is in the hearts of his children. What you are doing is far more than a miracle. You are creating a holy place.
    Blessings,
    David

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