i often forget that i live as one of the richest people in the world, though it rarely feels like it. i forget that just having a house, a car, and enough money to buy groceries weekly makes me wealthy. even using the phrase, “i often forget” seems so callous and sad, as if i had just forgotten to put bananas on the grocery list rather than not noticing that my needs are always supplied.
my fridge is full of food. some of the leftovers won’t last and will be thrown away. how do we escape this kind of living? this kind of numbness to gratitude for all the real needs of our lives being met? when i wake up and remember how much i have, i feel so silly for the times when i’ve wanted even more. i have cried and worried over money.
i want to say that i know how to be content in plenty and in want. i make my bed and i sleep in ‘plenty.’ can i really know want? may my heart be burdened and grateful, to be sustained in times where there is no money for food! if i ever see the day.
and then to still find thankfulness for the riches God has given me and not be angry or frustrated by them, feeling that they complicate things.
it is interesting to think that love of money can entangle your heart, no matter your economic status. keep my hands open, God, and my heart willing to give.
one of my favorite songs on this topic: i did not catch her name, by caedmon’s call