i feel a little played.

overdue: 4 days
false alarms: 2

it was hard to get up this morning. yesterday, i had contractions all day.  they weren’t entirely regular, but for a few intervals of time, they were.  and they were getting stronger.  i was feeling prepped, so i took a few walks and did some stairs in our neighborhood, hoping to get things going.  i went about my usual daily tasks, trying to remember that the beginning and end of this labor wasn’t in my hands.  then when the contractions puttered out around bedtime, i thought, “okay.. not today.” i snuggled up to bryan and peacefully fell asleep. (after turning the fan on to drown out the noise of all the BUGS in our neighbor’s garden.)

but THEN… i woke up at 1am feeling weird.  i went to the bathroom and fell back asleep.  then i woke up again at 2:15am, feeling a good amount of pain.  the contractions bothered me so much that i had to get up and go downstairs, bringing hubby with me.  i was a little freaked out because they were so strong, so suddenly — we turned on some music and bryan sat with me so i could calm down.  he closed his eyes next to me on the couch and i timed them — between 7 and 4 minutes apart.  around 3:15, we called the midwife to let her know and decided to stay home till they were more regular.  i emailed our friend mandy (by phone), telling her i was in labor and asking if she wanted to come over now or when we were leaving for the midwife’s.  she decided to come then.  in between contractions, i sent some emails home, since it was the middle of the day in America.

at around 3:45am, mandy arrived.  shortly there after, all contractions abruptly stopped. no puttering out or anything — they just stopped altogether, the last one virtually the same intensity level as the first.  bryan and i went for a 4am stroll to the 24-hour convenience store for gum to see if it would get things going again, walking a copious amount of stairs to get home.  about halfway home, i crumpled onto the stairs and started crying.  “i’m tired,” i said.  “and i was so excited to be in labor.  and i emailed everyone. and i called mandy over.  and now it just stopped.”

i love my husband. he is a champ, and i am so happy to do life with him. he sat next to me while i cried and didn’t flinch when i wiped my nose with my sleeve.  real love.

we got home around 4:30, and i sent a few “oops” emails.  we crawled into bed while mandy settled in on the red couch (her favorite spot).  we slept, and then we slept in.  bryan got up and made pancakes while i stayed in bed.  he sent jones in to say “morning mama!” and give me hugs and kisses.  we had a good, full breakfast, and bryan and mandy left.  jones and i hung around in our PJs for a while, watching “the wiggles.”  later, we went to a park we rarely visit, just the two of us, playing by ourselves and enjoying the cool breeze for a few hours.  while he climbed in and out of various equipment, i made it a point to say out loud what i was thankful for today.

..thankful for the way the sunlight was coming through the clouds.

..thankful that i felt so comfortable and cool in the weather.

..thankful that i had a friend who said i could call her to come over at 3am, 10 days in a row, and she wouldn’t care.

..thankful that my only worry surrounding the birth of baby boy is “when.”

..thankful that i didn’t have to cook breakfast, lunch, or supper today.

..thankful for a man who is a real man, and makes me feel like a woman.

..thankful for a God who knows the timing of all things and isn’t surprised by ‘false alarms.’

..thankful that, in one way or another, we will meet this baby boy in 10 days or less.

so for an update: i have my weekly appointment with the midwife tomorrow.  she’ll let me know what’s going on inside, make sure the babe isn’t getting too big, check all the pregnancy vitals, etc.  i suppose we will probably discuss a little bit of ‘the plan’ — which is that if i get to 42 weeks without having gone into labor on my own, she will transfer my care to the local hospital and i will have to go to be induced.  naturally, since we chose to give birth at the midwife’s clinic, its what i would prefer — but i feel at peace with either option.  meeting this little guy still feels rather dream-like, especially after a few false starts, and i feel myself beginning to wonder if it will actually happen.  i suppose this is normal.  praying to maintain a thankful heart.

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4 thoughts on “i feel a little played.

  1. So sorry that the little guy is being a bit ornery in making his appearance! Pardon me while I hijack the comments once again….
    On my sixth pregnancy, I started having contractions on Saturday. We waited until they were consistently 5 minutes apart, then called the dr. He said to come on in to the hospital.
    So we went.
    After several hours of walking the halls, and contractions still at 5 minutes apart, the contractions dwindled and stopped.

    I was sent home–WITHOUT A BABY.
    This is not the way I had hoped things would go.
    When you go to the hospital to deliver a baby, you are supposed to COME HOME WITH A BABY.
    I’m pretty sure I cried on my husband’s shoulder about the whole ordeal, and why couldn’t this baby just come OUT!

    That was Saturday. Early in the morning on Tuesday (about 1:30 am) I woke up with contractions again. They started fairly close together–4 or 5 minutes apart. Then they got increasingly strong, but FARTHER APART. I am sorry, but no one had ever mentioned this as a possibility. They are supposed to get closer together, right? But they were increasing in pain and intensity.
    When I was to the point of having contractions about 20 minutes apart, we called the dr. They decided to have me come in and see what was going on.

    Bottom line, when I got to the hospital (still contractions no closer than 20 minutes apart), I was dilated to about 8 1/2-9 cm. 10 is the magic number where you push. 🙂

    Zach was born (sans epidural or any pain meds, because it was “too late for that!”), a healthy 10 lb. boy.

    He has been somewhat ornery ever since. 🙂

    Praying for you, a safe delivery, and peacefulness, thankfulness, and patience!
    Love you, dear Jamie.

  2. Praying for you Jamie! It made me smile to hear that the person you called was Mandy. I wish I could BOTH of you girls up so easily. 🙂

    I’ll be thinking of you and your little dudes (all three of them) this week.

    say hi to Bryan and Jones for Mikey and I!

    We love you!

  3. oh jame.. the waiting is killer i know! i was 4 days overdue also. but on that 4th day went into labor. praying you do too!
    love ya friend

  4. Hang in there! I know I don’t really *know* you, but I feel like I do, since we have so many friends in common, plus have met your husband. A really positive, post due date mantra to say is “Baby’s are born on their birthdate, not their due date.”

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