asking questions.

what does God want from me in being a mommy? i feel like i have a very general answer to that question (like “love my kids” kind of answer), but don’t have many convictions as to how exactly that should be carried out, so i end up spending a lot of time comparing myself, worrying, and feeling guilty if i don’t think i’m sacrificing enough.  there is always someone out there who is giving more of themselves, and i haven’t dealt easily with that.  how does a mother interpret giving her life away? daily taking up her cross? self-sacrifice?  does that mean i should spend every hour with my kids? that i should ignore all the housework? that i should homeschool so they aren’t away from me very much and i’m pouring all of my life’s energies into them? what does “pouring life’s energies” look like? lots of time reading books together? doing lots of activities together? numerous trips to the park? engaged in every moment? i have no answers to these questions for myself, and i always wonder if i’m giving enough.  i think what i’m really looking for is a formula to follow that equals something like “good mom” — which is perhaps why God was rather nondescript about the details of a mother’s work in the Bible. just another way to be legalistic.

i need to hear from God. i’m sort of wondering if He would speak this clearly on matters like this, but hoping hoping He will.  the wondering and the guilt is so very tiring, and what mom has energy to waste?

3 thoughts on “asking questions.

  1. Definitely NO energy to waste! You’re asking good questions and THINKING. That’s the most important part, if you ask me, to think and have reasons for why you parent the way you do. Reasons found during times of reflection and prayer. I pray you (and me) will find those reasons and hold confidently to our convictions…no matter what every other seemingly perfect mom is doing! Thanks for sharing your thoughts so candidly.

  2. Hi Jamie. Sorry we did not get to talk to you on Skype but we had fun watching Bryan keeping everyone occupied, Ha! We couldn’t believe how Ezra moves around. even though he’s not crawling he definitely gets where he wants to go. Jones giving him a hug was very cute. I love the way Jones talks his way through completing puzzles etc.

    I think everyone feels sort of inadequate in the parenting field at times but my only comment is that you are doing a great job and you are definitely looking in the right spot by seeking God’s guidance for minimizing guilt feelings. If you keep seeking answers from Him I know you’ll receive the guidance you need and he will also deliver you from the guilt. Other seemingly “perfect” moms have the same feelings I am sure and remember, their kids are different kids with different personalities than yours so different things work for different people. You are a great Mom!
    Love You!
    Mike and Dixie

  3. UGH! I know!! I love that you share these thoughts because they are always ones that I have myself. I think asking God is a great start and I am sure He will give you an answer…probably not a formula or He would have included that in His Word??? I have come a long way in terms of comparing myself but I still do. Surely God doesn’t expect us to all be the same and that we will all have our own strengths and weaknesses just like we do as humans. It is just so easy to isolate certain qualities in other Moms that they seem to be remarkable in and assume that they must be perfect and we are not because we are less remarkable in that one area. Does that make sense?

    Hope to hear what revelations God gives you!!

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