small things at the end of the day.

tonite, after the kiddos were all tucked in, i watched the nbc nightly news podcast while i did dishes. (i quite like brian williams.) then i made a meringue pie and researched nagano. i wrote about said pie, and also about some memories of cooking blunders. i wrote to just write, and i think i will do more of it.

i was filling up hot water bottles for me and the baby, and realized how i could’ve gone to bed, thinking that i did nothing with my evening hours. and now i’m thinking that i need to give myself more credit. i wrote (and am indeed writing now), which means i had a coherent thought in the quiet hours post-bedtime (hooray!). and i made a freaking pie. jones will be happy to eat pie tomorrow. and i learned something i didn’t know anything about when the day broke. (do you know where matsumoto and ueda are in nagano-ken?)

it was a rough day. there was yelling and apologizing. then more yelling, and more apologizing. there was praying about the yelling, and singing “Jesus, I come” alone in the kitchen. and then there was a whole lot of the same, with slight variations, between then and now, as i follow the last flit of writing inspiration before seeing myself off to bed. (bryan is away tonight.)

despite the roughness, i am happy to report that there are so many things on the upswing in my (our) life. for starters, i am listening to God. and i am hearing him, with surprising frequency. “sit down and write” was one of the things i felt Him say today, just before starting this. its amazing to me that all i had to do was slow down and ask — about ordinary, nominal things, really — and He hasn’t failed to answer. by way of impressions, or thoughts, or situation. God, should i make this pie now or later? and i know: i should do it later.

its amazing. give it a try. for now, i’m off to bed.

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