this is me. today, still in my pajamas, upstairs in my “spot.” i am ever so thankful for this place, and i find that with the chaos of living day in and day out with three small children, going out to a noisy cafe doesn’t sound as delightful as it once did. (how old i sound. garumph.)
in my spot, i have a bookshelf, holding old journals, devotional books, bible translations, a lamp. sitting next to that is the desk i am writing from, facing the windows and the ocean and the trees in our rock-garden yard. today, they are rattling with a slight breeze, and radiating the sun, still as green as in summer.
on the other side of my bookshelf sits an orange burlap chair, bought with love by my husband, who cares ever so much for my differences and eccentricities. coffee in my hand, the heater at my feet, books all around me, i am at home. three years in this house, and i have finally found a space of peace. may it not take so long for our next move, whenever that may be.
this year — 2013 — what shall we name it? last year, after my near breakdown, it was overwhelmingly clear to bryan and i that 2012 should be a year of rest. and God certainly provided it. now that we are back in japan, we are feeling pulled toward something else. building new foundations? persevering? living out of grace? training spiritually for what’s to come? it’s something along all these lines, and God has not yet made it clear to us. we will continue to pray.
i hope that i have more time for writing in 2013.
i hope that i can begin persevering again in the jobs God has given me.
i hope that i will live in grace… always in need of God’s mercy and grace. (how trite that sounds, how deeply i feel that truth.)
i hope that i can take the kids to the pool everyday this summer.
i hope that God will lead some dear friends to spend their future in Japan.
i hope that i will learn to make a yummy cappuccino.
i hope that God’s direction will be clear, and we will be brave to follow it.
i hope that ezra will be potty trained in 2013.
i hope that i will learn how to build spiritual habits in my life with grace and not the law, because that is what will make them sustainable, and those habits are what will bring me life and ability to weather storms — He is the vine, i am the branch.
i hope that those reading this will continue forward, however slightly, in knowing the God who loves us, and who will be exalted.