all production halts.

I felt so on top of things before the birth of this little lady. Though pregnant and waddling and all that, I had a to-do list that I finished each day. I wrote thank you notes. I called for hair appointments. I attended PTA meetings at the youchien. Now, I breastfeed and I hold a baby while she sleeps and I sit. I also snack and watch TV. I’m sure there are other things that I’m doing, but they somehow escape me now. Last night, I kindly reminded myself that there are three other little persons in this house that I have nursed into climbing up trees and running through the park and using the remote without my help. (TV is so central to our life right now, with winter cold and new baby and tired mama. Thank you, God, for Netflix — and I really mean it.) I watched them dress for bed and brush their teeth, baby in arms, and I felt better to see my efforts of the past 8 years before me, tall and bright-eyed and doing a few things each on their own.

Nothing stops my brain cells like birth and new baby. I feel all my creativeness sucked right out of me with the milk. Last night, those tall things with toothpaste in their mouths reminded me of something I couldn’t put words to, but it made me feel better. It won’t last forever, perhaps? Or, it’s just a phase? I think it was more along the lines of these people are precious, and that is that. I’m too tired to remember any long, theological mantras to guide my days. I suppose LOVE must be enough. One word. All production halts, and we love.

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